A WW? (7)

[lt0402]

FG, yeah, every time I attempt to attune with her it's instantly shot down, trampled on, then set on fire. IC and I discussed how to approach the conversation we just had and he told me to expect her to initially push me away as a result of it. Seems like anytime I make a bid it just causes her to stiff arm me instead of allowing me to get closer.

On the house, yeah that was unexpected. I'm not sure in what world that makes sense. The only thought I have is that she's being less than truthful to me and the house sale unlocks some of our home equity for her and the rental makes it easier to break free. She should know by now though that all she has to do is say she's leaving and she can go. The only stipulation I have is I won't take less than 50/50 time with my D. Everything else is negotiable. But she still continues to stay and Act like a sulking teenager. Very frustrating.

She articulates how bad of a person I am and how horribly I treated her in the past. She's very pointed at commenting where she know thinks it will hurt me (we were never a family). She doesn't realize that after our August blowup though, I won't give her the joy of pushing my buttons. It [censored] bc this is not a person I'm willing to spend my life, or even 9 more years with. I'm hoping the conversation last night gets her thinking about either an exit or actually working on things. I can't do this alone, at least not with the walls she has erected. But yes, I agree, she does seem to hate me. Not sure how I'm supposed to work through that.

DonH, on your post a week ago I do agree that she seemed to be hinting at me needing to challenge her more. She made a couple other comments around sex type stuff after that in an off handed way. In the past she actually told me one time that I needed to stick up for myself more. Guess I should have listened back then. But I do think challenge is needed right now. Either to break down her walls or just for my sanity. I'm trying not to let the last conversation wear on me but man it's brutal at times.

She very much seems to want to stay mad. I almost think it may be her way of avoiding having to face her issues that have contributed to this. If she can pin all the blame on me then she never needs to face her demons. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to get her out of an angry state.

On the house thing I am going to get the realtor out to the house and have her opine on how best to sell it. I agree that what wife is proposing is off kilter. You may be right that she doesn't want to feel better. It would explain a lot. Unsure why she wouldn't though. I know my R with my D is on firm ground. If it was not then I don't think D would want to do all the things we do together. Had a good snuggle session with her while watching a movie tonight. Love that kid.

Let me think of the best way to get an example out of her. I've done that before and she hasn't been able to give one. I've wondered if W is just projecting her feelings and thoughts onto D. i.e. When she talks about D she's really talking about herself. It's about the only thing that'd make sense to me, though none of this really does. I have no clue what will shake her awake though. I'm going to keep firm that I can't live like this and push back. I'll validate where I can but I won't affirm nonsense. I really can't live like this. Life is too short and I know that I can make a good home for D without W if it comes to that. She's welcome to join us but I can't force her to, nor will I.

MV, I'd be curious to get your thoughts around the conversation yesterday and how I follow it up. I tried to leverage your thoughts from a week ago as I agree with them.

Thanks to all of you for the aid and support. Would be lost without you.