Hazy, you deserve a hug. Your H is as exasperating as my W.

The good: he is trying to love you through acts of service (mowing the lawn) and asking you to spend time with him; this is why I find your situation so hopeful...yet so frustrating.

The bad: you can't help yourself from arguing and yelling when your H says and does absolutely crazy things; you are letting his words and actions control you; this is really hard, but it is in your control.

The ugly: this is where your H and my W need to get locked up in a padded room: he expects you to accept the fact that he has a GF (my W has even suggested I will want to have her BF at our family birthdays and holidays); is this insanity, waywardness, MLC, who knows? What's the right way to respond? Yelling and screaming isn't working.

Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving