Long time lurker

[Hazy]

Sometimes I don't think he's given up on me either based on his actions however, his actions sometimes just destroy me. As far as arguing, I don't argue with others and I know it takes two to argue but I just don't know how to communicate with him when he becomes angry. I wish I had you in my ear today Gordie becasue I had another bad day with WH and I honestly can't see how I went wrong. But somehow, the other woman was made out to be a Saint and now I just can't stop crying.

Ever since I found out about WH gf, I have not pursued and I have followed DR to the tee. When I see that he is frustrated about one of the girls and he is venting to me I just validate and everything is ok.

He has been showing me more attention with phone calls and texts and even invited me out a few times. Once I accepted and the others I did not.

Fast forward to today. He invited me to go on a hike and I accepted. We went with a group of people and I could overhear him telling a fellow hiker (a stranger) stories of our past vacations. He was laughing and having a good time. On the drive to the hike he brought up his gf and said that she had a problem with him spending the day with me and that they had almost broken up a few weeks back because he came over to mow my yard. (I didn't ask he just did it one day I was at work) I just listened. He said he wasn't sure They would last much longer because he told her no one would stop him from doing things for me He did say he cared a lot for her but he didn't see them together long term. Then I said "it sounds like you do care for her" ) he said, yes I care for her but I would die for you. Which of course made me both angry, sad, and happy all at once. But I didn't show that. I just smiled.

We had a great hike and lunch afterwards. On the way home out of the blue he said "you know GF might introduce herself to you if she sees you out" and I said "if she does that she's only doing it to be hateful" he said that she isn't that way and I said "well that's the way I see it" and he just lost his cool after that. I tried very hard not to argue but I was not going to take back the way I felt. He insisted that I was wrong in what I was saying and that I would embarrass myself and he said a lot of other hateful things after that. And I yelled back which made it worse of course.

He of course brought up how I don't ever do anything for him and that I put him through hell when I was pursuing and that he just needs to let go of me completely. I told him that I thought it was for the best that he did because it causes him heartache and that I didn't do anything to deserve him yelling at me and screwing up a great day. Needless to say the long ride home was miserable and we left each other angry and him closer to his GF's arms. I guess this is what I get for spending any time with him alone.

At one point of us yelling I said "can't you just understand my point of view! That I'm still in love with my husband and I don't need to be meeting his GF! " he yelled back "well don't you think I'm still in love with you!" I said no that his actions didn't show it. He became angrier and said "everything I do for you and you say that, you are sick in the head"

I just need to let go. I hope you or someone can help me understand all of this.