W and MIL just came. I was finishing my workout when they came. W was very quiet and angry acting. MIL acted normal, and a little somber. W got what we think are all of her things from the garage, and hopefully from the rest of the house. I hate watching her take things from the house. I hope we are done with that. MIL keeps saying that she is staying out of it. Some how I feel like Miss [MIL] feels sorry for me and thinks W is being foolish, but it's just a very slight feeling about that that I have. I could be wrong. She won't say much. W said I didn't appreciate all the things she left in the house. She wouldn't tell me why at first. She finally told me that it was because I fussed about her wanting $40,000 of our house's equity, while only wanting to give me $1,800 for what I put into our old house, that she now rents out (that house is in her and her mom's name). After that, she started taking more things out of the house that she previously intended to leave for me, like the mirrors in the foyer area. Hopefully now she has gotten all of her stuff out of the house. I just let her take what she wanted, that was hers, and didn't put up a fight, except on a rug that she had said she was leaving me as part of an exchange for furniture I agreed to let her have, since I don't want her to run me through the ringer, if she can, and because I don't want to fuel her anger. She is a basket of emotions. Right before she left, I saw a glimpse of the W that I love. She turned around and looked at me with a sad face and motioned for a hug. I said "you want a hug?" She said "kind of", or "yes". I can't remember. I gave her a good hug. It was long. She hugged me tightly. She didn't push me off. I whispered to her that I was sorry, and I think she said she was too. I couldn't really hear her. Then they left.
I thought about asking her for the garage door opener, but I'm trying not to make her mad at all, because she might be able to really run me through the ringer, if she goes through with the separation agreement, and asks for what the law might give her. There is a difference between what is lawful and what is fair. I told W, shortly before they left, before the nice hug, that we could sit down and discuss what's fair. MIL said we shouldn't do that. She didn't want us to get upset. I told her that's probably a good idea, and I'm glad she said that. After they left, I sent MIL a text message telling her that I was so sorry for all of the trouble.
This is not how this story is supposed to go.
I'm so glad I have you folks to talk to.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.