Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #3

[Woke_Up]

I agree with everything DonH said. She threw a whopper tantrum and got rewarded. Did you think that letting her spew all over you would cause her to respect you as a man? And why would you be touching her the next day and serving her coffee? Did she show any signs of sorrow for how she behaved, or did she apologize? You rewarded her for treating you like $hit. Why?

No, no apology. I guess she seemed calmer and I probably read remorse into it. No, I did read remorse into it, but that was my wishful thinking.

Look, she is not going through withdrawals if she has some type of connection to OM. [/quote}

Yep, she is definitely not going through withdrawals.

[quote=sandi2]It concerns me that the tone of your recent post sounds as if you are joining the ranks of men who won't be the kind of H to enforce firm boundaries, and they decide to change their WW to a MLC, b/c somehow, that makes more sense to them. MLC is not easier, but I do get the impression that some H's choose to say his W is MLC, rather than accepting the tough challenges of the WW. I hope you won't give up, b/c I think you've got what it takes to get back

I hear you, Sandi, and I am sure it is not MLC, just some similar things going on - but she has and this concern over aging for years, pretty much ever since I've known her and probably before. I think there are FOO issues rather than MLC.

Ultimately there are R issues for which I am 50% responsible, and now she has gone wayward. I am glad you have some confidence in me, because it's taking me a long, hard trek to get to having confidence in myself. I'm not giving up, I was thinking of a S as a way to get space and focus on improving myself, but I haven't really thought it through yet - with the volatility of our R and our current sitch, I don't know if an in house S will work. I suspect the answer is in my head, my mentality rather than 'formalising' a sep. Let's face it, we are already in different bedrooms. I guess it means switching off to her temp checking behaviours.