Hi all,
Sage, that sounds like a book for me. I'll have to read up on your thread.

Had a good night w/H last night. Climbing got cancelled, so I called and asked what he was doing. He didnt' sound v. good on the phone-busy with yardwork and cars, but when I got home, he seemed happier. We went to yummy dinner and watched "the Family Man." Went to bed, I asked him to spoon me. He got an H.O., but did not do anything, so i went to sleep. (At least there is some desire!)

I'm really trying to curb my appetite for sex, but I want it, and it is NOT just b/c I want attn, but because I am physically aroused and I LOVE being with him. It saddens me to think that I am just using him, and I feel somewhat angry that he would think that. Sometimes I wish I had never disclosed so many details about my past b/c now it is haunting me.

So...I'll continue to try to be patient. But, how do I get over the attitude. I know that I need to consider his feelings and treat him differently. I guess I am taking it that he doesn't want me/desire me, when that is not really the case...RIGHT??? I am understanding more that the R is more important , but is just really important to me too, and...I don't know...I'm so confused.

So, what if he asks me why I'm not initiating? What do I say? I don't want to come off with an attitude which I know I do sometimes, so how do I say something nicely?

"Well, love, I don't want you to think that I just want you for your winky." ???
" I am focusing on the R and am taking my mind off ML." ???

Cheezy tunnels:
Joking around with h, being my goofy SELF, making him laff, starting playfulness. ie pretending like I am not sharing the bed so he lays on top of me and "steam-rolls" me. I saw **SPARKLES** in his eyes. He's so beautiful. God, I love him!

thanks always,
karen