Last week I read a book called "Addicted to Unhappiness". I posted some of the thoughts from it on my thread. The book's basic premise was that we revert to behaviors that bring on negative situations because we equate those negative feelings with actual comfort and love -- because that's what we got from our parents or caregivers.
I don't know...the premise seems farfetched in some ways -- seems easier or more rational to believe that I act in certain ways in order to drive h away, make him leave first, etc. BUT on the other hand, I feel SO predictable (things are going really well, I drop some crisis-bomb that makes him retreat -- just like Mom used to do) that maybe there's some truth to it?
and, in some ways, it feels more comforting to think that I'm not trying to push h away...that I'm really seeking comfortable and familiar feelings...
As for what works...it's already been pointed out that that's likely specific to you...for me, meditation, exercise, reading, listening to audiotapes, etc. seems to work most of the time. I'm a week passed what felt like a pretty cruddy mindset and I'm not sure what jolted me out of it -- partly I think I DECIDED last week to view things more positively. Also, I was doing this acupressure technique (called EFT) that's supposed to help -- WHO KNOWS if it did but I'm finding that THIS WEEK I'm feeling much better about stuff.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
