You are getting some wonderful advise here and it looks like you are making some huge strides in identifing your hurdles.
You are an awesome person and I know you will work though this in your own special style.
I have a book of daily devotions for growth and peace of mind. I found this one that talks of what you mentioned about getting unstuck.
Quote: Shhhhh! Don’t tell that story again! Do not talk about how you were done so wrong by so many bad people. Do not talk about him, her or them unless it will make you feel better right now. Hush! Don’t utter another syllable about he pain, the losses that have left you broken, unless you are ready to recover right now. Stop it! Stop dragging yourself back there, reminding yourself of how bad it was for you then unless it has some relevance to what you are doing right now. Each time you think about, talk about, or remember then, you put that energy squarely in the middle of your life right now.
Of course you must acknowledge how you feel about all the things you have experienced. You must not, however, tell the story in a manner that makes you feel bad right now. Tell what you learned! Tell how you have healed! If you look at your story, there is probably a great deal you can use right now to move forward. When, however, you find yourself stuck on the details that break your heart, you are telling the story in the wrong way, for the wrong reasons.
Yes, you must inspect the details of your life in order to accept your share of the responsibility. In fact, each time you tell your story you discover new levels of understanding and forgiveness. When you approach the sordid details of your life from this perspective, you will propel yourself into a higher state of being. When, however, you are telling the story and it makes you feel bad, do not tel that story! Tell a story, any story, that will take into account the wonderful opportunity you have before you to write a new story.
Until today, you may have been telling the story of how bad it used to be. Just for today, rethink your conclusions, pray for understanding, then write a new story that begins where you are right now. Today I am devoted to laying down the old story and writing a new script that begins with right now!
