I feel completely dejected this morning. More spew this morning. He asked if I was seeing my therapist this evening and I said yes. He said he would be home on time. When I reminded him that my parents will be watching S, he flipped out. His first complaint was that I am keeping S from him, then his second complaint was that I didn't tell him my parents were coming over. Ugh. We had this discussion last week.
To a certain extent, yes, I am keeping S from him. But only to the extent that I don't him taking him out of the house alone because I cannot trust that he won't bring any of his female friends around. I just don't see this as a bad thing. I feel like I am protecting my son.
I cannot do anything right. Everything I do gets turned around and used against me. I feel so confused and lost and uncertain of what to do anymore. I am becoming afraid of him (not in a physical well being sense). This is so unlike me to be so afraid of someone.
My therapist and friends and family constantly remind me that it is him and not me. Everyone here does that as well. While it helps, I am learning that my own FOO issues make it difficult for me to accept.
My intuition is he is now using S to pick fights under the guise that he wants to spend more time with S. I am completely leaving him alone, hardly ever talk to him unless he initiates, don't ask him any questions about what he does or where he goes, and never bring up OW (until recently when he wanted to spend time alone with S) so he can't use my behavior as an excuse anymore. The only avenue left is S.
