Seeking the Truth

[sage]

Hey, Karen, GIRLFRIEND, point was NOT to beat yourself up!

I don't know why I don't do what he asks for. I go 'round and 'round with this one. I don't just mean in this area, but also as far as getting along, not starting fights, etc. Guess it's not a secret that I am selfish. I'm more concerned with what I will get out of this r than how to love him. ?? What's wrong with me?

Nothing's WRONG with you...

You COULD ask yourself (in your best Dr. Phil voice) "what am I getting by continuing to act in this manner?"

What if you did a stream-of-consciousness brainstorming on that...honestly? I think the answer may have less to do with you not "wanting" to love him and more about ????

Last night h went out by himself. I asked what he did and he didn't seem to want to give much details. (Well, I ought to have learned by now to NOT try to have a convo at 2am). I asked where he went, and you can stay out til 2am by yourself? He said yeah. I even asked who he talked to!!! Then I asked if he was drinking away his sorrows and he said "something like that." *I am feeling really insecure about this wondering if he talked to women or that he will seek introspection and decide that he doesn't want to be with me. UGgg...

Karen -- give him some space!

what if you decided that you were going to cut yourself some slack, take good care of YOU and what that meant was that you were going to focus on stuff you can control, focus on you (and JUST you) a bit...wouldn't that also create some calm for him, too?

You HAVE been doing really, really well...don't jump all over yourself for backsliding a bit!

I still struggle too with how committed I am to making this m work. Sometimes I think it would be easier to find a new model.

You're still going to be bringing your stuff with you to the showroom

How about this? What if you realized that you may not ever meet someone who helps you push your own buttons as well as h...can't you USE that to help you heal?

Sage