I don't know why I don't do what he asks for. I go 'round and 'round with this one. I don't just mean in this area, but also as far as getting along, not starting fights, etc. Guess it's not a secret that I am selfish. I'm more concerned with what I will get out of this r than how to love him. ?? What's wrong with me?
I'm sure I'm making the ASSumption that sex will never happen, I'm sure it will.
Last night h went out by himself. I asked what he did and he didn't seem to want to give much details. (Well, I ought to have learned by now to NOT try to have a convo at 2am). I asked where he went, and you can stay out til 2am by yourself? He said yeah. I even asked who he talked to!!! Then I asked if he was drinking away his sorrows and he said "something like that." *I am feeling really insecure about this wondering if he talked to women or that he will seek introspection and decide that he doesn't want to be with me. UGgg...
I still struggle too with how committed I am to making this m work. Sometimes I think it would be easier to find a new model. I know...gotta re-read or listen to Divorce is Not the Answer. IOW, I continue to do what I know will not work, sabotaging the R. I've done this in other r's until they eventually figure that I don't really want to be w/them and they leave.
thanks for the support. I really appreciate it. Sorry for being such a tough nut to crack. But my wheels are turning and some things are starting to click a little more. karen
