Thanks UD, I can't say that I don't like what you have to say. It is reinforcing some ideas and new views that I'd like to try on.
I have been acting as if it is a be all end all. To me it means that the R is ok, H wants me and finds me desireable, that he "approves of" and accepts me.
I put a lot more emphasis on it b/c it gives me a false sense of security. Yes, so knowing that it is false is a step in the right direction. It is an area that I feel more confident in. I don't feel real confident about being intimate on an emotional level. I also like the rush(es) it provides. I also thoroughly enjoy being with him, but not so much anymore since the emotions are lacking.
He feels pressured and controlled b/c I get upset if it doesn't happen.
He gets turned off by my crying neediness and accusations of him not caring about me.
He believes that the R is more important (the cake) than the icing on top. Cake needs to be made first before you can ADD frosting. Can't live on frosting alone.
If I suggest ML before we go out, he then feels like it HAS to happen.
He feels used because I use it get the stamp of approval from him. yuck... & he knows that I used a lot of guys sexually in my past so he thinks it doesn't mean as much to me.
I think he has some insecurities about some of his own skills and his body.
Thinks all I want from him is his penis.
He doesn't respond to ME acting like a piece of meat. I think Barbara D'Angelis said that men reacting to "meat" is degrading to them.
I feel like I need to control the sitch-if I don't initiate it will never happen. (which is not true, it might just be a few days longer than I would like.)
I feel like I need to "entertain" him to keep his interest.
Guess I'm kind of a lech! thanks for the feedback. Anymore would be greatly appreciated!
