here is my longer more in depth post. I went to see my therapist yesterday and we discussed my worries of dating a younger man. Who is actually 9 years younger than me. (just call me cougar). My worry really lies with yet again falling for someone who I can't be with for reasons other than having no feelings for them. It was very painful with ex-NG, to love someone and have to let them go because of distance (I know that wasn't all it was, but kind of what it boiled down to). I'm terrified of that.
She did say something very interesting. And so did my friend. My views on having more kids....... it's not like I physically can't or I am too old.... it's a choice for me. There is this possibility if I love someone that much, I would want to have a child with them. not to make them happy, but because I would want that with a loving partner. Still don't know about that, but it is not an IMPOSSIBILITY. She said these aren't red flags. What I have experienced in the past are red flags that I should run from (fear of commitment, no effort, pulling away).
So we chatted for quite a while last night. He really is just an amazingly sweet guy. he's gotten hurt before (he didn't give any details) and he went into his honest loyal traits. I believe it.
One instructor at our gym is a salsa dancer and she posted pics from this place she goes in NYC. I said it looks like fun and I would love to try it. She said she has been trying to get instructor and brother to go. So, L said he would absolutely go, only if he could be my partner:)
I gave him a nudge after the convo got a little more intimate (not dirty intimate) I told him I wouldn't be seeing him at class tomorrow night because I have to get D ready for her daddy daughter dance, but after that, she would be with him for the weekend and if he asked me out for a drink, I would probably say yes. he got so adorably excited and said absolutely and officially asked. We don't have a day and time set yet. But this morning he sent me a message saying good morning and asking how I was.
So, this is new to me. He is sweet, attentive, and thoughtful so far. Not my norm. ex-NG was like that until he started playing his pulling back game when he fell in love in with me. I am so over those games.
One more interesting thing my therapist and I recognized last night. I sit here wondering why I am single and guys (well, decent guys) don't have interest in me. It turns out they do. Really, when I am in a situation with single available men, they DO show interest. Problem has been I am rarely ever in those situations.
So there is hope for me. I'm not all that bad.
I am nervous. I never get nervous for OLD because I don't even know the person and I am so whatever about it. This one freaks me out a little more given our mutual acquaintences and me liking him already. Hopefully all will go well.
