Sounds like some of the MLC lingo used. Keep in mind, depression is the main ingredient and depression can make people numb to feelings/emotions. They don't get excited about things any longer and everything can look blah to them.
To be quite honest, there's nothing you can say at this time to change his thoughts about being romantic. He's got to work this out for himself. Sometimes AD's will help and even IC, but if he's truly in MLC, the IC won't help at this early stage...maybe later down the line...but right now, his mind is made up that there is a problem and that problem is you. The old saying "don't believe anything they say and only half of what they do" holds true. You can't change his perception of the situation at this time.
You are a fixer, and as a fixer, you want to fix him and the situation. You can't. The only thing you can do is work on yourself. If he's pointed out things that you've done in the past, take a good, long, hard look at those complaints and work on some of them. Make a list of the things that you would like to do and then start doing them. Can you remember what you were like when you met him? Go back to that time and think about it...what attracted you to him? This is where I would start my chapter of reclaiming yourself, make that list and start working on it. Notice, I keep saying making lists and working on them? That's to get you to focus on YOU. YOU can't fix him, he has to do it. You can't control him and what he's thinking or doing, but you can control how you deal w/your situation.
I knew he was going to say that if you had been doing those things he identified long ago, things wouldn't be in the position you are in right now. MLC speak. Don't pretzel yourself for him. Be yourself, be happy w/yourself and how you live your life. No matter what you say or do, he will not be happy w/you and the situation. You could lay golden eggs and it wouldn't make him happy. Depression has him in her claws right now.
Time to make those lists and see what you come up with. Leave him be, give him space and time and do things on your own. He really does need to figure things out for himself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
