PS this may well be a pointless question but are there certain ways I should be "nice" (rather than "nasty") to my wife so as not to push her to consummate the relationship more quickly as that would really devastate me. All texts being swapped on the subject are all of the wishful fantasy type. I have decided not to indulge in any evidence based accusations at least until after I've had my first therapy session in a couple of weeks (have never done this sort of thing before, it is more to do with a personal plan for myself). As stated elsewhere here, the best thing about this website is that it gives you breathing space to at least think about things. Thanks again.
There is no problem being nice. Honestly, just treat her as someone you are doing business with versus trying to be husbandly nice, if that makes sense. At this point, she wants nothing to do with the husband side. Unfortunately, a lot of us (me included) have tried to be overly nice or whatever in hopes of things only to have it backfire. Would things have changed if I treated it as a business relationship? Maybe, but can't play the what-if game.
You'll find that a good IC will guide you.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
