I'm inspired by how well you handled this delicate situation with your son. I have a kid that age and imagine will be keen enough to pickup and ask about these types of things in the future.
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The thing about your story that makes me think is that I know my STBXW (gosh, I have referring to her that way) still comes to me with all sorts of questions/comments/situations about life for which she wants my attention and support...and how am I supposed to handle that going forward? Just listen and validate? Will that continue or just taper off over time?
3 1/2 years later I had a hard time with the sbtx label also .. hence why you see me still use "MLCr"
I had similar ... early on I was always there, text messages and calls at all the hours of the day. Me thinking I would save her and my M I was always there for her ... honestly looking back I was WAY TO AVAILABLE. In a way as I progressed I distanced myself further and further till I felt I was detached. If it makes sense I kind of weened her off me, or more likely I also weened myself from her. Most here do have Codependent traits and I admittedly was one of them.
Really depends on you, if you can honestly listen and validate without expectations, staying within your own frame than yes I would recommend you do that. BUT ... big BUT ... you HAVE to be honest here, if you think by being nice and doing all this is going to get you something ... ehem.. EXPECTATIONS.. then use a bit more dark/dim/NC in things that regard anything other than the kids. She can not miss you if you aren't gone ... she can not work on her issues if you are in her face ... I do believe they must bottom out and I am not of the opinion they can do this with us still in the picture. My opinion of course ... I am not saying go out and chase Mustang Sally .... but do not sit out on the porch waiting in the rain either.
Find you .... that is really the secret of all this
