WAW had an affair - hurt and confused

[Gordie]

She said she didn’t want to wake up and be 40 and have not had kids or travelled. That she had nothing to look forward to. She asked me if I had goals in life, things I wanted.

brizz,

I keep coming back to this in your introduction and you haven't really addressed it. W's been married 8 years, is 33 years old and not getting younger, feels her biological clock is ticking...and she confides in her H that she doesn't want to wake up and be 40 with no kids...and you struggle with words to express how you are feeling...and she immediately shuts down the conversation.

I'm not a mind reader, but I'm guessing from the way you describe things that you didn't have kids and weren't trying and didn't have any discussions/plans on the table to do so...that was a really, really big deal to her...and she got the sense it wasn't a big deal for you. So she is seeing her peers having babies and maybe getting pressure from her mom to produce some grandchildren and is doing the math in her head (and has been for the past few years) about how much time she has left in the fertility department and thinking--OMG, my H doesn't even talk about having kids...what have I gotten myself into...and how do I get myself out?