I think you handled the situation in your son's room okay. In the future, I think I would have to say, "h, if you have some issues w/me, let's discuss them in private and not in front of our son. Grown up discussions should be kept between grown ups and topics such as you are raising are grown up topics."
Oh, my...trying to turn the tables on you about where you are going. I think I would have had to say, "sure, come right along, the more the merrier". He really is trying to make you think you are crazy thinking that there is someone else in the picture. Don't take his bait. BTW, I do think you have a concern about your son meeting his lady friends at the moment. This can be very confusing for a child.
I think your h may see your son as a "buddy" and also wants people to think he's a great father and is doing things w/his son. Sometimes, they tend to go over board on being the Disney Dad routine. Your h might be one of them. Then again, he may be doing things w/him out of guilt. Time will tell...
If this same topic comes up this evening I think I would say, "h, I'm sorry you feel the way that you do, but we aren't going to rehash what was discussed this morning. My decision still stands" and walk away. Oh, he may get angry and sulk, but that's on him. Just don't get into an argument w/him. Something is definitely up w/him...we just have to figure out what it is. Is he using your son as an excuse to go out and meet this ow while they are out and about or is he truly interested in doing things w/your son? That is the million dollar question...again...time will tell.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
