Quote: I was/am having a really hard time. I wanted to open my mouth so bad. H is acting really blah/depressed??? Or is it my imagination? Or is it me? He's not talking much and I'm taking it very personally. I wanted to crazy-make so bad b/c I feel like I want attn. so bad. Last night I think he was trying to joke around and tease me and stuff (facetiously), but it just wasn't funny to me and I ended up asking if he was crabby. He said no. I just wanted some niceties, but he seemed like he was "in his head." I don't know if it's b/c of the weather, his mom, his back, who knows-could be a million reasons.
You don't know! So quit assuming. I know that I crazymake when I get all sorts of ideas in my head that may or may not be true. Either way, the crazymaking is wrong, and it will not help you in any way.
Quote: I just feel like we clash a lot of the time. Like, I want to tell him something I think is funny, but he's not interested. I want some mush and gush, but have to "wait" for it. Then I think I am sick of waiting and start getting mad at him, forgetting that it is me that keeps pushing HIM away!!
Stop. Be yourself. He married you for a reason. You are scaring yourself away from your true self, and if you're not going to be your true self, who are you going to be? And how can you have a relataionship with anyone???
You are putting too many what-ifs on yourself. Stop analyzing his reactions. As I like to say, Just "be." And, get busy with something! You are thinking too hard. Step away from it for a bit!!!! You have NO IDEA what he's thinking. Stop guessing. This seems to be a trigger for you.
Oooh, sorry if that's all harsh. I was just trying to be direct! I know that I do the same things, and I know that I had to learn to stop doing it. It really is as simple as saying, "this will not get me what I want in the long run." Willpower!
