1. Definitely do not feel superior. I do feel more equipped to safeguard our M. I feel the perfect word you used was stagnation. We have had a sit down and discussed our thoughts about where we both are in the M. I do believe there is some validity to the growing apart as well. What I will say is that the growth is one issue the other is contentment in areas that I need more. Where her love tank has been filled that last 3.5 years mine has been severely neglected in many respects. Can't say I feel justified about where I am because honestly it stings to be here and to know she is hurt we are here as well.
"If her repentance is authenic, then her emotional work on herself and on the MR is a painful process for her. She needs guidance and support. Understanding her process would probably benefit both of you. IMHO, it is critical for the couple to attend M healing after an affair therapy......b/c it is not that simple to mend as a "couple", when you dealing with issues as an individual."
I'm trying to as sensitive as I can to this without stifling her own growth.
"When you say you still love her........but. (I am not finding fault with you, OK?) Is this loving her differently than how you want to love a wife going forward? Does she know where you stand on her growth process? How does she feel about your attitude toward a future together?"
According to her she is very happy with the approach I've taken with her. I have tried to remain stable constant while allowing her room to grow. I'm just watching and engaging where I can be of help.
