Not communicating on the bigger issues, not speaking her love language, needing to let the small things go.
were some things you were lacking. So I gave some suggestions of things you might investigate into working on.
Then your response was that:
Originally Posted By: brizz
The problem is I was already attentive, already was an engaged listener, already was affectionate, already helped out plenty around the house.
So, it seems to me that your wife isnt the only one doing this:
Originally Posted By: brizz
Another big issue is my W doesn't think she has any problems, thinks she is perfect and projects everything onto me.
At this time, Im much more interested to know how you are going to improve yourself than to hear more about why your W is to blame for this marriage failing.
I touched on that in the same post you cherry-picked that quote from. My point was, a common theme I've seen on here is a lot of people have admitted they had completely checked out of and neglected the marriage entirely for some reason or another. While there is always room for improvement, I was definitely present in the marriage. But I want to be better to address whatever left the marriage vulnerable to an affair. I have my own ideas for things to work on but I've always valued my W's opinion so highly and I'm struggling to sift through the things she's said to find out what is valid and what is just her rewriting history. So I'm going to focus on being more positive, learning to communicate more effectively, being more approachable, rebuilding confidence, expressing affection better, expressing appreciation better, not stressing over trivial things. Things that I have control over. I can't control if she thinks everything is my fault and that she doesn't have anything to improve on. So I'll focus on myself so I'm a better and stronger person whether it's with her or without her. I've purchased DR and will begin reading it this weekend. I'm open to any other suggestions.
