The problem is I was already attentive, already was an engaged listener, already was affectionate, already helped out plenty around the house.
Originally Posted By: brizz
Another big issue is my W doesn't think she has any problems, thinks she is perfect and projects everything onto me.
Hmmmmmmmmmm......
Yeah...that's a flag if there is ever one.
It's been a constant theme in the relationship. No more than a few weeks would go by without an argument, even if a small one, about something she did but denied. Reoccurring one would be how she doesn't listen. I'd realize she wasn't listening to me or maybe she'd say something in a conversation that I had just said, making it clear she wasn't paying attention. I'd call her on it but it was always that I talked too low, the TV was too loud, the dog was distracting her, she was reading something so I should know better than to be talking. Always an excuse.
One of the more recent ones was in November when she was driving us somewhere. She looked down at her cell phone for a second but in that moment the car ahead of us stopped abruptly. So I yelled, "watch out!" Even as she was hitting the brakes she was yelling, "Why are you yelling?!" I said, "Because you were looking at your phone and we were almost in a wreck!" She said, without missing a beat, "No, we were almost in a wreck because you yelled and scared me!" That perfectly sums up how nothing is ever her fault and she has always rewrote history, even 10 second old history.
That combined with how impressionable she is doesn't give me much hope for her wanting to work on the M. The validation she's getting from her mom and best friend based on the lies and manipulations she's telling them just steers her further away.
