So I now have all the evidence I need (it has also been screeengrabbed into a Word file as backup).
Wow. Two things. Make copies and put one in a safe place. Give one to your lawyer as you will need it. And confront her. Now that you have proof, your road has drastically changed.
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It would of course be nice to get Valentines Day out of the way first (I have spent quite a bit so as to appear to be a "normal" husband).
Why? Honestly, why wait? She doesn't care about you in that sense, so why put yourself through it?
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Based on other threads I have read here I guess in essence the marriage is over? I think it's worth fighting for but it might have to come after they get it out of their system where the reality and ups and downs of a real relationship replaces the fantasy one
It most definitely it over and it has been over for much longer than you think or care to admit. You have proof of the affair. There isn't room in her for two, and guess who isn't included. The question you need to be asking yourself is how and why - how are you going to go forward and why would you fight for someone who has no inclination to fight for you?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
