Hello visitors, The posts on the Friends thread has got me thinking.
I realize that I have been stuck doing the same things for a long time. Some things have improved tremendously, however, such as HOW I handle my upsets and HOW I talk to h.
I still feel very much like I blame him in my head. Also, that I know what a good person he is, but I continue to doubt it and scrutinize him looking for proof that he is not going to treat me well...
His mom had surgery yesterday and he was going to the hosp. I asked him to call me and let me know how it went and to give me her phone #. I ended up calling him later in the aft. He had an appt. to go to. I asked about his mom and his appt. He didn't seem to have much to say. I went to climb, he was asleep when I got home. This morn. I asked if we were hiking/biking or going to see her. He said to see her, but that I didn't have to if I didn't want to. I said that I did.
So driving to work, I was thinking that he doesn't want me to be involved, that he doesn't want to share himself w/me, that his mom doesn't like me, and why the heck didn't he call me yesterday??? SO wanted to call him and "ask." Fortunately, he did not answer his phone. Later, he saw that I called. I was pleasant, asked for her #, we chit-chatted, he told me about his appt. yesterday, we wished each other a nice day.
So, I feel grateful that he did NOT answer the phone earlier and that I did not lambast him. Now, things are much more pleasant.
He is somewhat moody-depressed at times, not talkative at times which is a little frustrating. So, I turned it around and thought about what would make him feel more comfy talking and sharing with me. I must be pleasant, accept him, appreciate him, and give him a little "time & space." He's usually better the next day and he has started to thank me for "letting him be quiet."
I still have the prob. of asking "what's wrong?" and "are you ok?" all the time. I hate that! must stop!!! he always says "nothing" anyway! How about I commit to stopping that???
