Hi Karen, UD, everyone else! I've been pms'ing big time. Had a crying fit on Sunday but did not attack h at all. He was supportive. v. nice. I've had migraines Fri, yesterday, today. Had a v. long day at work today and had to drive to the dr's office to get more migraine med. during lunch.
Do I have to act as if I am bob barker if i don't feel good? i called h. he didn't do much all day. i asked what he wanted to do tonight and asked if he would go to the store. he didn't seem to want to, but neither do i! but, he is. we're going to watch a movie tonight. i have to work at least an hour over. just slammed at work...
I see by your thread that you have a belief in God. It appears that you are struggling with your faith in God really.
To have faith in God is to believe that He has the best in mind for you, that He can work through your husband to help you have a great m.
You seem to struggling with really knowing who God is, what He can do. You limit Him by your insecurities. God is the perfect Father, who wants to give good things to His little girl (YOU). He is nothing like your earthly father! To get a perspective on what you need to give your husband versus what he's asking for....check out the Word and what God wants us as wives to give our h's. If you do it God's way, you can be sure to satisfy your h. Because when we get our focus off the world (really the fleshly desires of your h) and tune into what God wants, we won't be swayed by the waves! WE can trust God, His word. If we seek to please God in all we do, then he will give us the desires of our hearts.
Do you believe that? I had some real soul searching to do of my own through all this turmoil I went through with my h. Most importantly I learned that I had too much of myself invested in my h, I let him determine my happiness (his moods, his wants, etc.)....which is not wrong but when they are driven by my own insecurities and not stable...well then it just leads to crazy making. Find scriptures for what you struggle in, keep them handy to do battle against those crazy making thoughts.
As for the stuff going on in the bedroom, pray about that too. God can provide through your husband what you need there too.
You are an awesome daughter of God, He loves you. Trust Him. He can work through your h!!! Really.
Hi Karen, Just checking in on ya. How ya doin'? Did your hectic life slow down any? Sorry to hear about the migraines. I used to get those oh so long ago so I know what that's like. Can't wait for your update. Take care! God bless Debi
Hi Cindy, Yes, I have a hard time believing that God really love me and that if I let Him, He will take care of me. I've been working much harder at letting go and letting God as far as making demands on H.
Hi Debi! My head is doing better. The migraines have to do with my cycle, and stress. Seems that when I am away from work, they are lessened tremendously!!!
Still busy! Climbed Mon & Wed, cooked dinner and watched movie w/h on Tues., went cycling with the club on thurs, out to din w/h on fri, on a group ride sat. (18 mi.), then out w/another couple sat. night., out w/his 'rents for brunch sunday, then we were lazy.
**Our communication is getting much better. I am trying to de-personalize and just be more matter-of-fact and not get so emotional about stuff. He's been good at validating and being more compassionate.
We talked a little about flirting/sexual stuff. He made some good points. Like if I bring up sex earlier in the evening, he feels like it HAS to happen later or I'll be upset (this is true), so he feels pressured. He would like for it to be more spontaneous and "just happen." I told him I'd like more spontaneity too, like mid afternoon or whatever, not like it only has to be 10:30 at night.
Now I am having trouble b/c I am noticing how much he doesn't talk back when I talk to him. If I tell him about our friends, or something that happened at the park w/my dogs, or whatever, he just says, "hmm." and that's it. So, I know I need to continue to act as if, and pray about this. I know if I start demanding that he talk, that he'll talk less!!
I feel somewhat taken for granted too b/c he is not saying ily or complimenting me or saying he appreciates me much. I'm sure it will come with time, so I just have to WAIT!
I also must remember what I heard from the Holy Spirit: That h will not give me these things until I don't NEED them.
Hello visitors, The posts on the Friends thread has got me thinking.
I realize that I have been stuck doing the same things for a long time. Some things have improved tremendously, however, such as HOW I handle my upsets and HOW I talk to h.
I still feel very much like I blame him in my head. Also, that I know what a good person he is, but I continue to doubt it and scrutinize him looking for proof that he is not going to treat me well...
His mom had surgery yesterday and he was going to the hosp. I asked him to call me and let me know how it went and to give me her phone #. I ended up calling him later in the aft. He had an appt. to go to. I asked about his mom and his appt. He didn't seem to have much to say. I went to climb, he was asleep when I got home. This morn. I asked if we were hiking/biking or going to see her. He said to see her, but that I didn't have to if I didn't want to. I said that I did.
So driving to work, I was thinking that he doesn't want me to be involved, that he doesn't want to share himself w/me, that his mom doesn't like me, and why the heck didn't he call me yesterday??? SO wanted to call him and "ask." Fortunately, he did not answer his phone. Later, he saw that I called. I was pleasant, asked for her #, we chit-chatted, he told me about his appt. yesterday, we wished each other a nice day.
So, I feel grateful that he did NOT answer the phone earlier and that I did not lambast him. Now, things are much more pleasant.
He is somewhat moody-depressed at times, not talkative at times which is a little frustrating. So, I turned it around and thought about what would make him feel more comfy talking and sharing with me. I must be pleasant, accept him, appreciate him, and give him a little "time & space." He's usually better the next day and he has started to thank me for "letting him be quiet."
I still have the prob. of asking "what's wrong?" and "are you ok?" all the time. I hate that! must stop!!! he always says "nothing" anyway! How about I commit to stopping that???
Hi Karen - Just wanted to stop by and say thanks for the follow up on my crazymaking recovery steps - I thought I'd move my responses to my own thread as they involve a lot of 'going over past stuff'
Quote: I feel somewhat taken for granted too b/c he is not saying ily or complimenting me or saying he appreciates me much. I'm sure it will come with time, so I just have to WAIT!
Same here! But I do find that when i remember to compliment H, I usually get returns within the day
Hi Slowly, Thanks for coming over! I'll go back to your thread later.
I just need to get some things out right now/off my chest.
Weekend was ok. Friday night turned out decent. Sat. went for bike ride then out separately. Sunday we had bfast, and I went to ball game w/my doggie since it was pet day! Got back together w/hubby and had din, watched tv. I was falling asleep before 9. Think I am getting sick.
I was/am having a really hard time. I wanted to open my mouth so bad. H is acting really blah/depressed??? Or is it my imagination? Or is it me? He's not talking much and I'm taking it very personally. I wanted to crazy-make so bad b/c I feel like I want attn. so bad. Last night I think he was trying to joke around and tease me and stuff (facetiously), but it just wasn't funny to me and I ended up asking if he was crabby. He said no. I just wanted some niceties, but he seemed like he was "in his head." I don't know if it's b/c of the weather, his mom, his back, who knows-could be a million reasons.
I just feel like we clash a lot of the time. Like, I want to tell him something I think is funny, but he's not interested. I want some mush and gush, but have to "wait" for it. Then I think I am sick of waiting and start getting mad at him, forgetting that it is me that keeps pushing HIM away!!
help!! I'm afraid I'm going to blow and I'm having a hard time acting as if!!! karen812
Could it be if you aren't feeling really up to par if you are getting sick that your mood is affecting him?
Just a thought, because I know when I don't feel well it affects my mood and it seems before you have noticed that he sort of feeds off of your moods doesn't he?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Good point. I don't think it all has to do w/feeling like I'm getting sick b/c that just started last night. I think I started sending off a lot of tension vibes earlier this weekend-think mainly b/c I want to crazy-make and I'm trying to hold it in! ha ha...but i feel really critical in my head and blaming of him...so, yes, he prob. is responding to that...then I get a guilty conscience and worry even more! Arggg!!!
Plus, how he is usually has a lot to do with my **perception.** As we know, it's not based on reality!
I'm sure it will come with time, so I just have to WAIT! 
