I'm definitely aware of my shortcomings and have detailed them to her. Not communicating on the bigger issues, not speaking her love language, needing to let the small things go. The usual stuff most people are guilty of in a relationship. I'll be picking up a copy of DR.
The problem is that you arent going to repair anything through your words. Now is your time for actions. What will you do in yourself to make consistent change? Telling her youre 'going to change' is not really useful. Im sure youve done that many times before. But changing for her is not lasting. Plus, it will be seen as 'too little, too late'. So, now is a time to make improvements to yourself. How will you improve your listening skills? How about your ability to validate? Patience? Communication? etc
Instead of focusing on her and the D...focus on this stuff in your life.
I am going to work on improving myself. For me. The problem is I was already attentive, already was an engaged listener, already was affectionate, already helped out plenty around the house. But I do know there is always room for improvement. Communication on feelings and goals, the big issues, is something we both lacked and I need to work on. The talk we had on 12/10 was the first time things ever really came out into the open and at that point her motivation wasn't to fix things but to use those issues as an excuse to get out of the M without guilt over what was an EA at the time. Another big issue is my W doesn't think she has any problems, thinks she is perfect and projects everything onto me. But she and what she thinks is outside my circle of control. I can't worry about that or change it. I can only control myself and whatever happens, happens.
