Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

The silver lining in your impending separation is, Gordie, that your W will run into the arms of the 22 year old employee POM with gooey eyes ... and run smack into Reality.

I really believe that.

FG, I like your thinking. I actually do want my W to be happy and successful and all the things she wants...emotionally self sufficient, financially independent, free to choose who she wants to love. I don't want my W to abandon me and the children and run into the arms of POM, fail in her business and go bankrupt.

Being the fixer type, I want to stop her from making what I see as bad choices and the consequences of them...but this time I can't, I won't. That's part of the reason why I won't blow up the POM at this stage. My W has actully hinted that if I do that it is yet another example of me controlling her...and isn't she right?

So, I now need to focus on fixing me. I have a lot of work to do. I'm interviewing for new jobs. I started engaging in my music and art again, parts of myself that have been neglected during my M. I'm becoming a better father. One thing I've worked on this week: apologizing to my kids when I've done something I regret (being impatient, using too strong of a voice, etc). This is a 180 for me and it's been a great change. They really stop and take note when Dad says he's sorry and asks for forgiveness.