On Friday, WH wanted to speak about mediation and the upcoming holidays. I asked him where he was taking OW - he lied and said they were going to somewhere local. I forgot about my reaction here - not DB, so haven't been applying the principles as strictly as I said before. I said to him, 'Why are you lying?' Then he admitted he was taking her away, abroad, and said it was because he didn't want me to think he was spending loads of money on her.
He will be. WH loves staying in 5* hotels. No way he would take anything else. Plus he's only given me a quarter of the maintenance we agreed he would give me at the last mediation session. I haven't referenced it - am just going to bring it up at next mediation session that he's breaking promises as soon as he makes them.
After he 'fessed up about taking her away, I asked him why he was still lying, and he said he was still lying to 'loads of people'. Which made me feel better because I guess he's lying to her too. She's not getting a better deal out of this than me really.
He asked me for a legal separation. I said I didn't see how this would benefit anyone really and I don't really see the point of it. I told him if he wanted a D I would file if he wanted to rush things through (he can't file unless he lies about why we are getting divorced), but on the condition he pays for my lawyer's fees. He said he would think about it.
I then said I had been thinking of taking S3 away as well, because it's been rough going for me and I haven't had a break for a while. To a seaside town an hour away, but it was expensive getting a hotel. WH immediately said he would pay for it. I expressed appreciation.
On Saturday when WH came to pick S3 up for the day, he mentioned he would look online for a hotel for me and S3. I asked him if he meant what he said, that he would pay for it. He said yes, and I said, so how's it going to work? He said he would book it for me, which he did. I know he's done it out of pure guilt because he's taking OW away, no reflection on me whatsoever. This is reinforced by the fact that he's effectively taken it out of the maintenance money he's meant to give me - I know when I bring up the depleted amount in the next mediation session, he's going to say it's because he's forked out for the hotel.
I am struggling. I haven't posted in a while because I have been trying to do what I know I should be doing - detach, GAL... and I have been trying. Unsuccessfully.
In my real world I'm reaching a point where everyone is getting sick of me. Of how down I'm being. He left in November and apparently I should be over it by now. Should I?
I can't believe my husband is going away on holiday with another woman. That another woman tells him she loves him. It feels so wrong. Here I am sitting at this keyboard literally crying into the keypad and he's planning his little jaunt away with his OW. I want to rip my heart out and burn it.
