Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #8]

[100383]

10,

Ugh. Daggers in the heart. How do you guys find peace when things feel so, so bleak? I don't know how spiritual you guys are, but when I pray and meditate, it's pretty much immediately better. Don't get me wrong, these soul crushing moments come fast and furious, but then...they're done. Is that your experience?

Its the most difficult thing there is - and makes the death of the marriage look like a walk in the park. Prayer does help. But what helps the most are the kids themselves. Their hugs, telling me that they love me, etc. I never show them what it does to me - they have enough on their plate. I know, kids need to know that its ok to show feelings and all, but some things are better left kept in check.

Yes, you need to be strong for them. They don't need the extra burden. And they'll look back remembering and appreciating your strength and dignity.

[Dawgs]

Yes, you need to be strong for them. They don't need the extra burden. And they'll look back remembering and appreciating your strength and dignity.

I hope so.

[ForGump]

Last night for the first time, at home, I found myself thinking, "I don't want to be here anymore."

It's partly fatigue, partly my own DB, partly my W's efforts to detach from me (her emotional disconnection from me), her MLC behaviors that I disrespect, and partly that I've looked at some places to move to and that gives me some forward-looking hope.

I still feel schizophrenic in that what I wish for myself is vastly different than what I wish for my kids. They don't yet know and I think I'd give my life to spare them the pain.

[Dawgs]

Last night for the first time, at home, I found myself thinking, "I don't want to be here anymore."

It's partly fatigue, partly my own DB, partly my W's efforts to detach from me (her emotional disconnection from me), her MLC behaviors that I disrespect, and partly that I've looked at some places to move to and that gives me some forward-looking hope.

I still feel schizophrenic in that what I wish for myself is vastly different than what I wish for my kids. They don't yet know and I think I'd give my life to spare them the pain.

I've thought that many, many times. Yet, I still find myself caught in her whirlpool.

I'm right there with you. I'd do anything to spare them.

[100383]

I've looked at some places to move to and that gives me some forward-looking hope.

YES TO THIS. You'll do other things that will move your life forward and bring you this feeling of hope, I'm sure.

[Chris73]

...But what helps the most are the kids themselves. Their hugs, telling me that they love me, etc.

THIS^^

I am lucky enough to still be able to see my kids every day. My W and I both have designated nights out that we've agreed upon, but even on my nights out I make it a priority to get home before they go to bed. To joke around with them, sing songs to my daughter, and read with my son.

There are days when I have them by myself that my mind is preoccupied with my marriage problems. But I try my best to put those things aside and just enjoy being with them.

My heart goes out to the folks on this board who are dealing with a physical separation. Regardless of whether you're separated from your kids or your spouse is, it's a horrible situation to be in for everyone.

[Cadet]

YES TO THIS. You'll do other things that will move your life forward and bring you this feeling of hope, I'm sure.

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[100383]

Thanks, Cadet.

[ForGump]

Huh? Did you have a post deleted? (Probably too much personal info?)

Anyway -- dream house fell through. But that's OK. Gonna roll with it.

[maly]

I'm so sad gutted for us all going thru this,its the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life,I think why us what have we done to deserve this torture,all we can do is help each other,and try and look after our selves,hope fully with gods help we will be happy again,l look forward to that its one of my goals