I know now that Im a lot more resilient than I ever would have given myself credit for.
That said, I hate the way I acted in the 1-2 months pre and post BD. I will never be THAT person again. Whiny, clingy, needy, obsessive. It was a total clown-show. If my ex wasnt walking out the door anyway, my behavior would have been the final straw anyway.
Funny how time has a way of clarifying things. But, at the time we were only doing what we knew how to do it and to the best of our abilities. Let's face it, we all either are - or did - hanging on as tight as we can in the hopes that person would change their mind, so we did the only thing we knew to do. No fault or shame in that. We were desperately trying to hold on to our marriages.
I know for sure I wish I had more courage, strength, etc... The good thing is that it gave/gives us the opportunity to make the fixes within ourselves.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
