It seems to me the most important question right now is, Do you want to divorce?
I would think long and hard about that. Don't think in terms of what message you want to send your wife. How angry and hurt you are. Think in terms of what YOU want. Look at who your wife has been all these years. Think about how you want to live the next 40 years of your life. Do you want to try to save the marriage with your wife?
If you do, I'd cancel the divorce petition, and hunker down for the long road of divorce busting. It's going to be months, if not years. A marathon, with very low likelihood you'll save your marriage. But most likely you will come out as a better person, even if a divorced person.
That's tough to answer. I very much don't want to divorce the woman I was with for 14 years. Every vision of my future was with that person. The current version of her is a totally different person.
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because she didn't want to work on the marriage before and certainly not now. In December she didn't want to file for divorce herself but she made it clear she didn't think she'd change her mind towards me. Cake eating, I guess. So given she has a petition against me now, I think cancelling mine would do more harm than good. The ball is really in her court now.
