I recently asked our therapist (privately) what she thought would happen if I withdrew from W, in an attempt to draw her towards me.

“If you withdrew a little, scares me a little because once you go down that path she may agree and then you can't turn back. I don't like to entertain that option until it truly is the only option.”

Makes sense to me. Better in our situations, I think, to continue to improve connection with our wives.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl