Wow, I like what I’m reading here roist, you sound like you are in a good place right now. Keep it up my friend.
I know DB says to do it (make changes, GAL, etc.) for us and not our spouse, but I can assure you that your wife IS watching and taking notes!
Originally Posted By: roist
Earlier on I wondered about going into LRT would "work" on snapping my W back into being: interested. Having observed her/us the last 2.5 years I believe it may just do that. I am now moving towards filling my life as opposed to trying a tactic to change her mind. I still learn about relationships and M including how to save them, but it is no longer my sole driving force.
I believe you are wise not to jump into LRT unless you are near done with the M, and willing to see it end. I know you are not there now. Work on connection, whenever she is open to it. When she is not, go back to giving time and space, and doing your own thing.
And yes, I also believe that hyper focus on saving the marriage, while natural in the beginning, can be detrimental if we overdo it for too long. I know it was for me. It was tiring and wore me down, especially during the times when I seen little or no improvement. Sometimes you just need to back away from it all and enjoy life as it is.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
