Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

Roist,

Yes, you are right to keep reminding me of these things.

1. Yes, I am becoming a better man...whether or not I ever reconcile with my W...this is a gift...

2. Yes, I haven't gotten a yes to my prayers, but need to see that no or not yet...is also a gift...

3. Yes, reading more about MLC...including some of the books from the MLC recommended reading thread, very eye opening...I saw my W in one example where this happy, well-adjusted SAHM starts a sexual relationship with one of her son's 17 year old friends while he was on vacation with the family...at least my W has her sights set on someone above the drinking age!

4. Yes, I feel helpless...my wife is driving the bus...I've been a passenger and now I'm getting kicked off! My DB coach threw out that 10% number as well and I was surprised to hear that...I know it's up to the LBS to decide when it's over for them...

Curious to know: do most folks here throw in the towel at D or try to keep standing and waiting out the MLC?

5. "Earlier on in my situation there were many times I was convinced this was it. I was sure that the end was imminent. Each time I realise I gave power to those feelings by feeding them. They crippled me. A year ago I had my last R talk with W, it was verbalised that she had checked out. I was unsure how to behave with her but I decided to carry on doing what I was doing. So I rolled over, kissed her goodnight and basically did not let my feelings dictate my actions. It is more complicated than that but a powerful lesson is to work towards not acting on feelings. Don't ignore feelings but don't let them decide you actions."

Wow--this is amazing and inspiring. I need to get to this place. Most days, I still let my feelings dictate my actions, but am trying to be more conscious of what is happening and changing the dynamic.

6. Yes, I do need to get excited about the next phase of my life and concentrate on me...without my W...which while it is not my choice, it is my reality! I can't deny that any longer.