I was trying to read and respond yesterday, but I kept tearing up and since I was home with D9, she kept asking me why I was crying.
As you all know, I can be extremely hard on myself. And I have been so hard on myself for still missing him this much. I am embarrassed about it. with my ex, I was so friggin angry at him. Just mad. I was the worst DB'er and I hated him for being the one to cheat and leave. I wanted him to suffer. I didn't even really want to be with him after that. So for the first time I am actually loving someone while letting go. I'll tell you, it is no easy feat. It's one of the hardest things I have ever done.
How do I know he feels the same way? Some is an assumption and gut feeling. Based off of information I do have. Whether or not he does or doesn't feel the same way makes no difference.
I think because I haven't found anyone who has qualities close to the ones that have us connect so well, I would rather be alone. I'm going to keep hoping someone will come into my life that makes these feelings go away.
Anyways,
I cooked a lot yesterday when I was home and make my special "compliant" chicken tenders for my peeps at work, including the younger guy I have a crush on. And the other one. He was like the happiest guy in the world. He messaged me after and thanked me up and down and thought it was so very nice of me and he said 'I think you might be my favorite person." He also said if I never needed any help with anything, he would be more than happy too. I guess the way to a man's heart really is through his stomach? He really is a nice guy and if I just made a nice friend I get to cook for, I am just happy with that.
You know. I miss being a wife and a girlfriend. I enjoy (maybe selfish) just making a significant other feel good and loved. I miss that too.
But single people get free wings at hooters on Valentines Day. There is that.
