I like that clause. Not sure it could/would work in our situation. I may need to talk to my lawyer and see if anything can be done.
Like yours, mine also love their mom and I don't want that to change, either. But there is the distinct feeling that something is going on and things are being said. I try not to ask what they talk about, but if I ever do they tend to be not talkative, which leads me to believe something is going on.
Actions do speak louder than words. I guess there is a reason they only draw me pictures and very rarely for her.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I am not understanding the clause and how it relates to the OM. Perhaps I am not understanding the background of it as I do not know your sitch.
What I am not understanding here is why OM needs to be kept away your sons now that you and XW are officially divorced. She's free to date OM (or any man) and you are free to date women as well. I get that your M broke up because of OM...not cool. BUT what is the real reason why you have the clause in place preventing OM from being close or around your sons?
Oh and as for "others" too...like who?
Just trying to better understand the reasoning and the background context for the clause.
The OM is married and intends to remain married. He's was sexually and psychologically abused by his parents. His wife was sexually abused by her parents. Before meeting my ex-wife, he was fooling around with another woman that was sexually abused by her step father. His adult children show signs of abuse. He clearly knows how to groom victims and he can be cunning. My ex-wife was sexually abused by her baby sitter and the baby sitter's boyfriend and suffers from dissociative identity disorder.
In my opinion there's too much sexual abuse swirling around that guy to trust him with any children. He's not allowed to touch my sons in any way even if it's just accidentally bumping into them.
You can't stop loving and caring for her...because you feel sorry for her. I get why you texted her -- not encouraging it, but I get it. Those moments of weakness creep up on us, don't they? I hope she does you no harm.
I'm going to also step in on the OM in my case. The OM had a criminal record "a mile long" from what I gather...and in it was a child endangerment charge. The ex sent pictures of my kids to him and was calling him her future husband. Remember way back when I talked of how the ex was in the "bad boys" and how our MC talked of that, too? Well, he fit the mold that she knew for most of her life. So, one of the things in our custody that I had included was that they are NOT to be around people with criminal records.
My lawyer is well aware of the types of people she was around and all and made sure specific wording was in our agreement that forbid it. The ex wasn't really happy but she signed it without a fight....because she knew who held all the cards.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I second everything about the sexual abuse part. As you are aware, my ex's history of abuse (sexual/physical/verbal/mental) has a very distinct and wll-deserved fear in me. She was sexually abused in every form imaginable, burned with irons/cigarettes/etc, beaten severely, and the list goes on and on and on. I'm concerned that even though she does love them in her own way, that some form of it will creep into them.
I've seen the yelling at them and the one time she shook my daughter (age 3 at the time)...she caught herself doing it and the look on her face, well was not easily describable.
I have spoken to my lawyer on this and he said that I would have to prove her unfit, which is very hard to do. Since she "passed" the military's psych evals, I may not be able to. He said that unfortunately, due to the laws, that there isn't anything I can do until she commits the act.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
You can't stop loving and caring for her...because you feel sorry for her. I get why you texted her -- not encouraging it, but I get it. Those moments of weakness creep up on us, don't they? I hope she does you no harm.
Yes, yes they do. Its those dang nights that are the worst.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
