Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Bird]

Whiskey is hard core! I had 3/4 of a bottle of wine when I found out about the office rumors on Friday night. It didn't help me sleep that time though. My doctor gave me xanax to sleep, but I try not to take it more than a couple of times a week so I don't make a habit out of it.

I have a prayer I say too - my sister posted this verse to her FB page a few weeks ago. "Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24

I struggle with my faith in times like these and often think why should I pray since there is supposed to be a Plan and why would my prayers influence it? When I'm in the right frame of mind I can get some relief saying "Thy will be done" or the serenity prayer, but most of the time I have trouble believing it. So I go back to that verse from Mark and I pray, but it's more like a mantra: "I ask You to restore our marriage. I believe You can, I know You can. I believe You will, I know You will." I think that's how I'm going to try to stay strong (in addition to GAL and working on myself).

Do you journal? I do like to write (I do not prefer to talk, oddly) so when I'm feeling really bad or can't sleep I journal. But my journal is just a series of letters to him, saying all the things that are on my mind that he wouldn't hear if I said them to him anyhow. It gets those emotions out without any damage.