WAS or what 9

[Gordie]

***Isn't it obvious that my W is still here because I am too awesome to leave. ;)***

YES!!!

***Then I realised what I wanted and got in touch with my feelings and was willing and able to discuss them. But she wasn't receptive. That was a real eye opener for me as to the depth of how bad our situation was. Long story short I since have worked a lot on eliminating resentment from our R. There are times I get fed up with the situation but for the mostpart I no longer resent the situation and I definitely don't feel resentment towards my w. When I struggle I remind myself she is having a difficult time too.***

Wow, this is an aspirational place for me to be.

***I have done a lot of work to replace negativity and resentment.The best way to do that is by replacing them with positive emotions. I choose gratitude and empathy. In essence you cannot feel negative whilst feeling grateful or any other positive feeling.***

Wow, another eye opener.

***I am grateful my W checked out as this enabled me to embark on discovering so many learning I would otherwise have remained oblivious to. It really can be a gift, though I would prefer to end this phase like every one else here.***

Have not found this gratitude for this trial.

***My W stayed at home several years and has a strong impression she is the boss in the house regarding the boys. I have upped my status and reclaimed equality, but it is slow. I did so first to be ready if I had to parent solo bit also to be the best dad possible. I have read and learned a lot about parenting. I was always interested and present but now it is highly important for me. I thought I was doing good before this crisis but I realise I was coasting.***

Yes, I think I've been coasting, but this situation has forced me to up my game. Thanks for your honesty.