It's funny, but reading in another thread has gotten me to thinking which led to me going down the dark path again. I slipped and texted the ex that I missed her. Sigh. FML.
I can't even hate her. Or even have feelings of dislike anymore. That would make things so much easier. But, no, I can't even do that anymore. Sure, at one time hate consumed me. But, over time, it left and all that was left was the love.
I'm watching a death spiral in her now. Her FB posts are becoming more erratic and there is nothing I can do. Sure, she gets the support on there from family and friends. I don't answer her stuff. Maybe I should - who knows. I know what many of her friends - and some, if not most, of what her family does not know, and that is the abusive past she suffered.. That saddens me...saddens me to watch the demons take hold of who was once was everything to me. I know I shouldn't be bothered by what's happening to her. But I am. Part of me is afraid for her.
She wanted this to happen, not me. I've done all I can do but yet I feel so powerless.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
