Starting to sense some anger coming out through your posts, its not entirely a bad thing unless as my Mentor Ur (Bless her heart( would say "Just do not live there" ... use that to fuel you to the other side of where you need to be.
I can relate to the Church/Catholic thing. Truth is I was married in a Catholic church, promised to raise our children Catholic as was the requirement. about a year after BD while I was struggling, I started going to church on my own .... a few things happened and was clearly God nudging me along I attended the RCIA program and converted to Catholicism. I was now armed with what I will just describe as Self Obtained Righteousness and could not believe my MLCr who was secretly having a full blown unapologetic affair would have the nerve to receive the Eucharist. I recall just turning beat red with rage, shame, you name it ... I wanted God to settle MY score.
I finally arrived at where I am now, her sins are her buisness and that will be between her and God ... who am I to judge .. I have my own plate of sins I have asked for continued forgiveness for. Be quick not to Judge as mirage wisely said ... thats His job right?
So as I have read a ton I knew I had seen something similar ... this was a post here by AmyC who was a MLCr and she had the courage to share quite a bit while she was here. May help you understand a bit of what your W is up against.
Quote:
I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt that there was NOTHING ANYONE could have said to me that would have moved me. As an example, right smack dab in the middle of my MLC, while practicing adultery, I sat my self-righteous butt in church and my Pastor pointed his finger straight at me one day during an altar call and he said to me "how long are you going to sit there?" He had been talking about letting the enemy influence us and destroy our families from within. At the time this happened, not one soul knew I was having an affair. Not one soul. I got called out, IN CHURCH, by a man that I had so much respect for, KNEW God had sent into my life the year before, and yet when he stood there that day, I didn't move a muscle. That is very telling of the grip the enemy had on me and I didn't even realize it. It is interesting to me that I basically lost my mind within a year of darkening the doorway of a church for the first time ever in my whole life. I got involved there, having felt "led" to that teacher for some reason.... 6 years later I know why. It's because every tool he gave me during that first year, I have had to use mightily in order to be able to stand for my marriage.
