.......

[doodler]

Today I took so many bags to work, I forgot my actual purse.

Ginger,

Are you smuggling beef brisket to the patients?

[Dawgs]

Today I took so many bags to work, I forgot my actual purse.

Ginger,

Are you smuggling beef brisket to the patients?

Yeah, did you bring us any?

[Ginger1]

Clearly, my beef brisket brings all the boys to the yard.

[doodler]

Clearly, my beef brisket brings all the boys to the yard.

Ginger,

It's not just the beef brisket, it's the way you whisper it into our ears, "beef <pause> brisket." Such a tease...

[Dawgs]

Clearly, my beef brisket brings all the boys to the yard.

Wait, I thought that was milkshake. Dang, I'm missing out.

[Ginger1]

*****DISCLAIMER******
What I am about to type is pathetic and not easy for me to share, for obvious reasons. Please do not think I am TOO pathetic.

Last night, D9 was watching these YouTube videos that were fake dating games. So I asked her "what are qualities you would like for Mom to find in a boyfriend"

She looks me right in the eye and says
"EX-NG"

I say, no, qualities, adjectives.
she says
"EX-NG"

I gave her the come-on' look and she says
"EX-NG"

I almost teared up and we went back to watching her show.

I hate this. On some level, I know we should be together. I actually do want to be with him. I think he knows the same, quite honestly. I believe his friends do to. I think his daughter might even. I know mine does.

I've gotten over guys I have dated pretty easily before. My ex, not so easily, but I was over him, it was the life I couldn't let go of and our family. I can't seem to get past this one. ANd it's not what could have been that I miss so horribly. I miss what we did have. I miss what was real, and not what could have been. But there are so many other things needed to make R's work, and I have learned that here. And I could have done it all, but I knew he couldn't/wouldn't at the time. Probably couldn't/wouldn't know either.

I had dreams about him last night. He just won't go away. It is making me a little nuts. Unless someone else steps in and wows me, I don't know if this will ever go away. I don't think it has for him either.

That being said, I still go forward, I still enjoy life, I am still active, fun, and social. And I can still harbor little crushes for people.

Life is just mean sometimes.

Thanks for listening. I know how pathetic this must sound.

[JujuB]

You do not sound pathetic at all ginger.

Why do you believe that he still feels the same?

Sometimes (for me anyway) having crushes helps me have something positive to think about. Its like a nice break from life to have a fantasy. It actually motivates me to dress up. But i guess it is only healthy if it's not interfering with your reality.

I'm at a stage where I don't even have a crush on anyone.

[Dawgs]

I've gotten over guys I have dated pretty easily before. My ex, not so easily, but I was over him, it was the life I couldn't let go of and our family. I can't seem to get past this one. ANd it's not what could have been that I miss so horribly. I miss what we did have. I miss what was real, and not what could have been. But there are so many other things needed to make R's work, and I have learned that here. And I could have done it all, but I knew he couldn't/wouldn't at the time. Probably couldn't/wouldn't know either.

I had dreams about him last night. He just won't go away. It is making me a little nuts. Unless someone else steps in and wows me, I don't know if this will ever go away. I don't think it has for him either.

Ginger,

Move over, because we are both in the same boat. Like you, on some level I know we should be together and still want that. I guess the uniqueness of our situation lends to that. I still want to be with her.

I, too, miss what was real. But I also miss what could have been, if that makes sense...but not in the sense I'm pining for that. It all goes back to the situation and all.

I feel that yours is like mine. No matter what we have, or could have, done would make any difference. Mine never goes away. Her ghost is always there.

So, this goes back to the question of what do we do when we know they are broken enough that there is nothing we can do?

[whatisis]

You're not pathetic G! Once someone has entered your life in a positive way we store those memories and as time goes by replace them with new ones. We store these memories because we have a need for what they represented. Nothing wrong with that. I still think about SDA Lady...there were many wonderful things in that relationship but it wasn't to be for various reasons. I still think if I saw her again my first urge what be to wrap my arms around her and give her a big hug. But, it is what it is and isn't what it isn't. Hey, you should shoot for the characteristics that you so loved about ex-NG...there are others who have them too without the baggage he carried.

[Gordie]

I've gotten over guys I have dated pretty easily before. My ex, not so easily, but I was over him, it was the life I couldn't let go of and our family. I can't seem to get past this one. ANd it's not what could have been that I miss so horribly. I miss what we did have. I miss what was real, and not what could have been. But there are so many other things needed to make R's work, and I have learned that here. And I could have done it all, but I knew he couldn't/wouldn't at the time. Probably couldn't/wouldn't know either.

I had dreams about him last night. He just won't go away. It is making me a little nuts. Unless someone else steps in and wows me, I don't know if this will ever go away. I don't think it has for him either.

Ginger,

Move over, because we are both in the same boat. Like you, on some level I know we should be together and still want that. I guess the uniqueness of our situation lends to that. I still want to be with her.

I, too, miss what was real. But I also miss what could have been, if that makes sense...but not in the sense I'm pining for that. It all goes back to the situation and all.

I feel that yours is like mine. No matter what we have, or could have, done would make any difference. Mine never goes away. Her ghost is always there.

So, this goes back to the question of what do we do when we know they are broken enough that there is nothing we can do?

I second what Jeep said...it was real.