Update: after our chat a couple of days ago, we both agreed that we need to work on ourselves and try to heal from loosing our and other challenges we've had before we can make our marriage work the way it should. We both want it to work, so we aren't going ahead with the divorce. She will still be going interstate to get extra support from her family for a little while and during that time, I'll be trying to get some help as well. The last 3 days have been really good. We've been compassionate and loving with each other. We've been looking out for the other person and supporting each other as best we can. I'm trying to give her as much "her time" as possible and she's doing the same for me. She is struggling with the kids, but I've been trying to get home earlier from work to take over from her and she'll go off for a bit to recharge. Our youngest one is still not sleeping through the night and we found a service where a trained sleep consultant will spend 2 nights with us toq help get our youngest into a better sleep routine. My wife is so excited about the potential of more sleep.
I know it's been good for the last few days, but I also know we have a long road to travel and it won't be quick.
One thing that's really helped me is to let go of all of my expectations. I think I've had a lot of expectations of my wife, and it's been totally unfair on her. All it's done is made me angry when they weren't met while causing her stress and tension between us. She's commented tonight that I seem more relaxed and grounded.
The affection is still there, but it feels different now. It doesn't feel like an obligation.
