Figuring it out - WAW with Affair

[KevinIn]

Did the therapist that specializes in marriage therapy ok this separation? Because when a wayward spouse suggests separation so they can "figure themselves out" what they're really saying is I'm going to pursue a relationship with someone else.

The therapist was against it too, but she kept telling me that "you always want to fix things your way and this is what i think i need." The therapist gave us ground rules and goals which I've followed. However, she's broken them all.

We are having a 1 month check in early next week. I'm still trying to figure out my strategy for this, with a few options:

1. Beat her to the punch and preemptively say that i need one more month, and give little other info. Essentially reinforce the LRT. This was my DB coach's recommendation.

2. Ask if she followed the rules, and if not, then say the break didnt work and we should not do it anymore. This is what she would expect me to do.

3. Have a conversion about if the minth was helpful and then i would suggest one more month.


I think that the break has somehow made things worse. She seems more distant and has a bigger wall. She also feela that she can handle parenting by herself, but this is mainly because her parents have been helping her during the break (they are enabling her).

Any thoughts on this?