Figuring it out - WAW with Affair

[Dawgs]

What's the success rate for the divorce busting strategy?

I've spent the weekend reading through this message board and see a lot of mixed stories. Lots of people who separated, got back together, separated again, and often divorced. I also some a few that seemed to work out well.

What i was doing was clearly not working, so there's no reason for me not to try this. But, does it work?

I'll step in, here. Honestly? I'd be willing to bet that the success rate is low, judging by what is seen here. One has to remember that, more often that not, is that the BD/separation/divorce/etc is years in the making and by then the damage is irreparable.

I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, because there are success stories here showing it. Its just that the failures far outweigh the successes.

Sometimes they just realize they aren't in love with us anymore and want out. Sometimes its our own fault as we stopped doing what won them in the first place. Sometimes they are just so broken that nothing would have worked. Regardless, by the time they reach this stage its over for them.

Which leads to this point - many (including me) have tried to hold on for selfish reasons, hoping that whatever we do would bring them back. Kind of like the butterfly analogy - close your hand around it and it kills it...open your hand and give it a safe place to land, well it may or may not choose to land again. But that means letting go, totally. More often than not, they don't alight again on our hands. But our hands must be open in the first place.