Logic verses Emotions, Aiming for Logic

[psluke]

I IM'd CHL around 4:00 yesterday and asked if it was time for the drum roll. He said he was running some stuff for T, and as soon as it finished he was starting. He doesn't care for T at all as he has very sloppy work practices. He was venting to me about T's stuff taking longer than T said it would. I like when he vents to me because he is sharing.

Then he said finished and I said good luck and bye. He said a couple more things and then bye.

I had told him if he had to spend the night and got lonely he was welcome to call, didn't matter what time as the kids don't let me really sleep a regular schedule anymore.

I called him last night, didn't expect him to answer was just going to leave a cheery vm. He used to when we were dating and I would work till 11 or so during tax season he would call just for a pick up break. I told him that was what the call was and asked how it was going. He said slow but ok. We chatted for a bit and then I let him go.

This morning I had the computer on but wasn't at it, was downstairs and the phone rang. Got here too late to answer it but saw it was him and called him back. We chatted for quit a while, just about how the job went, his horse and trivial stuff. It seemed a bit awkward at times but I wonder if we do that trying to be careful to be understood by one another. I hope it isn't him distancing himself.

Then I saw he had sent a message on IM before he called. All it said was "I Da Man"

Guess he was proud of how it went and wanted to share maybe? I can't tell you how nice it was that he wanted to share that with me. I complimented him and told him I know how thorough he is and I had felt if he didn't hit any unusual glitches it would go pretty well because he is "Good" We got off the phone and he called right back to ask about the taxes, so that may have been his original reason for calling, but that wasn't the top topic we discussed.

So just wanted this all down so I would remember it.

I had stressed some yesterday over his horse and I eventually caught it and apologized while chatting on IM. But this morning he joked about between work and me he was going gray. I don't know but hope it is a good thing he joked about it. I said I really am sorry and I'm really working on catching upsetting self talk. But I knew I got stressed yesterday. He seemed ok.

But sometimes he very definitely still says things that sound as if he is disassociating himself from me, the house and the kids.