Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 8

[PsySara]

10,
We've had a couple of flase starts but usually I lost ground when I began to comb over the affair and drill him on how he could choose OW over me. This usually led to a downwards spiral and WH becoming Walk away again. This time I DB'd super hard and constantly reviewed my notes and the DR book. I even paid for the LRT videos and have watched them 3 times. The crack appeared when some relatives of his came for a visit. I greeted them warmly, lots of hugs and broad smiles. This was authentic on my behalf because I find them to be wonderful people. WH called me back into the bedroom and quietly thanked me for my gentleness and kindness towards his loved ones even though we were on such bad ground.

That night I listened while he listed his complaints and validated. Outwardly I was calm and colected, inwardly my adrenaline was pulsing and I could even hear my heartbeat in my ears. I wanted to argue SO BAD, to refute his "complaints" as he was the person who started this entire disaster. But instead I strapped in and applied my DBing techniques with the steely eyed determination of a soldier. I also keep remembering the book I read about recovering and how the beginning of piecing is not the best time to seek remorse from your spouse. Instead, I am pouring love into his "bank" and am finding WH is starting to volunteer to aid in my recovery. In the end we're both hurting for entirely different reasons but pain is pain, ya know?