During the time through the holidays and while she was in the house is what kills me, as we still went out and did stuff as a family, ate dinner as a family, cleaned the house and helped each other out and offered help to each other, said thank yous and showed general concern with each other it seemed, until the kids went to bed when we went to our separate ends of the house.. We were able to have VERY good conversations about our past and us during this time as well that I honestly felt were from the heart.. but then it was light a lightswitch the next day and it was complete discontent from her.. This continued up until she moved out the other week as said above.. Now that the papers are signed and she is out of the house there has been very little conversation between us... only about the kids or legal matters or finances. I don't know what her parents and family know but want to believe that they would not stand for the actions while I was gone if they knew.. I know that she continues to be involved with the OM outside of work and there doesnt look to be any end to it.
I am currently seeing an IC and asked if she would come one day or even if we could go and speak to our pastor together to which she wanted nothing to do with that originally. She did at one point change and say that she would be willing to goto my IC one time for me. When I asked her again just before she moved out she told me she did not think she could now and that she would not go for MC, that she would only go to see mine for me.. which how does that work? My understanding of her saying that was that she only wanted to help me move forward with what was happening.. not to fix or try to work on anything. She continued to tell me when she was in the house that she was not interested in R "RIGHT NOW." She would always end it with Right now.. which kept building a bit of hope in me.. and still does. But her actions and the way she acts with me anymore makes me think that she did not truly mean that. She has lied to me, her family and others through this so I cannot trust what she says anymore. I don't even know who she is anymore as her interests and likes have completely changed as well.
I agree that I feel there is either MLC or WW happening in her actions to which I see no end. The OM has a track history of going after married women so I am not sure how long that will last or if it even had substance to it from the beginning or if he was just at the right place at the right time for her to lean on.. I agree though that they A down! He is a complete opposite of what I ever thought she liked... who knows.. It [censored].. I know everything we have is a material thing.. but to throw away everything that was good and nice that we built and put together in 14 years.. as well as the struggles our children have already had to endure before.. only to cause it again for them doesn't seem worth it for any of this! I honestly feel that all this could be worked though and talked about...
