Am I in withdrawal ... will he ever wake up

[SBJ]

Lana...that seems to be the case for so many. My W was always the golden child of her family. She was the go between with her parents and her sisters. One sister is a long term addict and the other suffers with anxiety. Her parents are divorced and the MIL shows extreme favoritism with my W, but is an enabler. The FIL is totally passive aggressive passive...if there is such a thing. He also shows favoritism with my W. Four years ago her favorite grandmother (and last grandparent) died and I know that had an affect on her and my MIL.

Now it seems that she is wanting total freedom and is being extremely selfish. She still has a great relationship with my kids and her mother, but everyone else is history...she has always been a great daughter, a great sister, a great mother, and I thought a great wife. I can and will defend her past, but I cannot defend what she is doing now.

I agree with you about seeing what they were and I will not forget that, but most of the advice on here seems to say that that person is gone and might not ever be seen again. I pray daily that she will be returned to me, but I also realize that this is a process that she has to work thru. All things happen in his timing...not ours.