People tend to offer up their opinions w/o us asking for them about our situations. Our parents, especially, want to see us happy and not having to deal w/the constant tension and sadness that comes w/a marriage break up. Many parents do not understand MLC and want us to hurry up and end the marriage and, in some cases, take the spouses to the cleaners. Unfortunately, they do not walk in our shoes.
If your mother is offering up advice that you don't want to hear, then gently stop her in mid-sentence and say "mom, I am sorry that you feel the way you do about h, but this is my situation to handle and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from talking about my situation. If I need advice, I'll let you know, however, for now, I'm handling my situation the best way I can not only for me, but my children as well". Then change the subject. If you do this enough times, she'll get the message.
You aren't alone in this...many parents, family members and friends will pipe up once things start going south. You do not understand just how hurtful their comments are until we gently put them in their place. You are the only one that can stop these conversations, especially when they are so hurtful to hear.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
