Continue posting as you go through the D. Even when you no longer want to DB, you can get a lot of good advice from fellow DBers that will help you grieve your marriage.
^This. It has helped me out more than anyone on here realizes.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Went down to the courthouse a couple of days ago and talked to a very helpful and friendly clerk at the civil court office. Now that I've been served, have 30 days from the date of service to file a response. Costs about three hundred bucks to file. Then we get scheduled for mediation (for parenting issues only) and a court date. At any time, if we can agree on the terms of the divorce, we can file a "stipulated judgment", and we finish w/o mediation and/or court date. I noted that my wife hasn't actually filed her proof of service yet with the court, but I'm sure she will.
I have been researching my response. I hope to have a face-to-face negotiation with my W in about a week. If we agree and can file before my 30 day deadline, that would save me from having to file the response for three hundred bucks. No charge for filing the judgment.
Speaking of three hunnerd ... our 30-year old dishwasher clogged for the Nth time. It's not rocket science to unclog but it's a time-consuming PIA. Took care of it, then saw a local big box hardware store having a sale on a pretty decent dishwasher for three hundred. Told my W I'd get it and install it this week, if she's comfortable w/ it. She said OK.
Did I just giver her big slice of cake? Maybe. At this point I don't give a flying F.
The dream house I found ... there's been complications. Now it appears I won't be able to get it. Easy come, easy go. C'est la vie.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
I'm liking this new attitude of yours! You'd rather spend three "hunnerd" on a dishwasher than a divorce and don't care if it's allowing your W to cake eat.
I'm sorry the dream house fell through. Your non-chalance is refreshing. You understand the power of letting go.
I Agree fg,its horrible to have to go thru this,but its out of our hands my friend, All we can do is ride the rollercoaster,and try and keep our heads above water, Its not their fault they are like this its like an inherited illness,and the one closest to them gets put thru the ringer,they blame us for everything,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
They kinda think they have been our slaves,and we controlled them all thru the marriage ,now they want to be free and run wild,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
They kinda think they have been our slaves,and we controlled them all thru the marriage ,now they want to be free and run wild,
In there heads we are the evil slave masters,and they want the chains off, That's why its all our fault how they are feeling,that's why they kinda hate us, And they want to be free and get this new better life,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
They kinda think they have been our slaves,and we controlled them all thru the marriage ,now they want to be free and run wild,
In there heads we are the evil slave masters,and they want the chains off, That's why its all our fault how they are feeling,that's why they kinda hate us, And they want to be free and get this new better life,
Its all about freedom,[b][/b]
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
Hey FG, keep in keepin on, okay? What have you been doing for yourself lately? How is your GAL? Do you have a friend you can go hang out with and have a b*tch-n-beer hour with?
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
In there heads we are the evil slave masters,and they want the chains off, That's why its all our fault how they are feeling,that's why they kinda hate us, And they want to be free and get this new better life,
It doesn't get any better explained than this. Mine did the exact same thing. Mine said everything was my fault, even her affair. All my fault.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
